Why I am a sh***y mom
Are you a shitty mom? I am and you probably are too because that makes me feel better. Bear with me here. Here is a list of why I am a shitty mom and if you do any of these things, you are as well.
1. We don’t follow a strict schedule.
Let’s be honest here. My husband does not have a standard 9-5 job so we try to get any time together that we can. Sometimes that includes letting our 2 year old stay up late so she can play with dad. Her bed time ranges from 7:30 to 9 depending on how long her nap was or just how much she generally is being an asshole. That brings me to number 2.
2. I call my child an asshole. She can be and don’t try to think your own is always a perfect angel. I don’t think she is an asshole on purpose but when you have a little spastic person that does not speak english that freaks out and throws whatever is in her path when you don’t know she is trying to say popsicle when she is actually saying fopiple, then yes she is an asshole. My brother coined the term “sasquatch” for her because she is super sassy and sass-hole isn’t a good word for a toddler learning to talk and only says the last part of new words…
3. I don’t understand all the weird in’s and out’s of daycare. I just picked her up today and apparently 2 year olds celebrate Valentines Day??? Did you know that because I didn’t and we were those weird parents that did not bring any Valentines for the other kids, but she had a paper bag full of candy and chocolate.
4. Her favorite show? South Park….that is all
Want to know something else? I am also a great mom and I am not afraid to say it. You can be a shitty mom but you can also be a great mom at the same time.
In regards to the items I said previously:
1. Yes we don’t follow a strict schedule, but we make damn sure that one of us is putting her to bed. It took 2 years and change before she had her first babysitter and same goes for our first vacation without her. We love hanging out with her so much that we are willing to sacrifice a strict schedule to be able to spend time with her.
2. I may call my child an asshole (never in front of her btw), but I feel like that means that I am realistic and I don’t think that my child is the gifted genius/special snowflake from the heavens that can do no wrong. She is not coddled and we don’t cater to her every whim. Freaks out can be teachable moments if you are patient enough.
3. I don’t really know how this can be justified other than I am a first time parent and my husband drops her off and I pick her up and we don’t really communicate with her daycare regularly because we are in and out of there.
4. No excuse for this other than we jokingly say she was born with South Park on the TV in the hospital (which is true) and so it is in her soul to love it. She does also love Wallykazaam, Bubble Guppies, and Doc McStuffins and she actually learns from those shows. Whichever show taught her about blowing her nose can pay our bill for kleenex.
The main reason why I think a blog post like this could be helpful for a new parent is so they can know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Say what?! I know…shocked me too because I thought I needed to be a perfect parent at first as well. Just get over it early on and you will feel so much more free. You are a parent, but you are also human and have good days and bad days. Do the best that you can and take each day one at a time and for god sake just live in the moment.
The other reason that this could be helpful is when you are judging that parent in the grocery store that is doing the exact opposite of what you would do in that same situation and you think they are the lazy parent or the pacifying parent. Just wait until you are having a bad day but still have to take a 2 year old with no nap to the grocery store and you have to bake cookies for something so you have no choice but to go down the baking aisle. I dare ya….
As long as they are safe and you are not a shitty parent in the sense of not buckling their car seat or letting your kids play in a busy road, I think you are good to go.